Book review: The Girls by Lori Lansens

Posted on September 9, 2010 by willowdove
Number of View: 5

Historically I could divide this blog into two topics: the “disability” stuff and the “book” stuff. This book is a novel about disability, so I’m covered both ways.

While it was at times a challenge to get through the book. pacing more than content, I find myself with the book now finished and paid forward I miss Ruby and Rose Darlen: known to all as The Girls.

The Girls is a novel written as the autobiography of both halves of a set of conjoined craniopagus twins who turn 30 during the course of the book. As with real autobiographies, it is a review of their lives – mishap or miracle – in light of an uncertain future.It is a desire to leave a legacy that is each of their own making, and in whatever way possible a private one.  Each sister has her own distinct voice and story to tell. In turns I found myself want to slap each of them especially when one is mean to the other.

It is a cleverly written book. I forgot more than once that it was a novel. The medicalness and the physical aspects are described up front and then left alone as fact — very realistic. The characters – even the sketchy ones are very well drawn being evolved at a variable pace as you would meet  people in any town.

Pacing varies but is largely good and at one point as one sister gets bogged in her own self indulgence crawls. But that made it real. There is good continuity.

It was sad, without being morbid and at least from my perspective very funny. It isn’t a book about their disability but about their lives, loves, losses and fun.

So that’s what I’ve been reading,

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Uprights behaving badly: Footpaths

Posted on September 6, 2010 by willowdove
Number of View: 39

I’m going to do a series of posts on things I wish those without apparent disability understood or did differently. It is from my perspective as a person who uses a wheelchair, but hope it can be useful more broadly. So to start with:

Footpaths: their use and misuses

My top 5 things six things I wish uprights got about using the footpath:

  1. Don’t just stand there – move something. Standing still at the top of kerb ramps instead of moving off it to allow people crossing to safely and legally get off the road. This is not the place to start a meaning of life conversation or adjust your wardrobe. I, like others need a clear metre at the top of the incline to safely complete the crossing process without tipping myself up or collecting your shins. For many of us who have different mobility issues we need to pick a direction of travel and keep moving as much for safety as energy or anything else so abrupt stopping is never polite. It’s like a car slamming on the brakes every 50 metres instead of going say 30 kph with on-coming traffic coming at you on either side. Also if I am obeying the rules of the road and waiting on the kerb ramp with you jay-walking in the opposite direction please don’t climb over my chair to get off the road.. My footplates are part of my personal space.
  2. While talking of footpaths they are not the place to mingle with five or six of your friends all looking and talking  inwards. Given I am waist high to most of you it can be very hard to attract your attention to keep moving (see above) and am often stuck yelling at people’s belt loops for some minutes waiting for one of the party to look down. Not everyone can sidle past or tap you somewhere that my grandmother would consider polite. I can’t tap you on the shoulder if I’m three foot tall.
  3. Footpaths are still first and foremost designed built and paid for to enable the safe pedestrian movement of all of us. They are not designed to act as a parking lot for prams cars or bikes, a community ashtray, a junk storage zone, a dining room or an extension of your business. While these uses are able to be incorporated in parts and more modern footpathing have integrated these uses, please remember that the narrow footpaths still need to fulfil the movement thing as their primary role.
  4. If you are over 12 do as our parents and the law teaches: please walk your pushbike on footpaths. It’s polite, non aggressive and saves kerb ramps for those of us who have need them to get anywhere not just get somewhere quickly. I know you are doing a good thing for the planet and all that, but polite is still polite. You are still a vehicle. You saving carbon by not using your car is great and something I very much support but the energy flow needed to incorporate your riding on the footpath for me is higher I suspect than for most other people (see point regarding committing to a direction of travel) in the other direction in a need for higher concentration, and the kind of stopping and starting of a machine that you are trying to avoid.
  5. While we are on a roll here can smokers please refrain from lowering your cigarette and it’s  plume to get me right in the face. Just as you don’t want it right near your eyes when your not smoking it – neither do I. I have even been ashed in my lap or on my hand or chest more than once. It might also be worth noting that this behaviour is not going to be good for any children in the area either.
  6. This same idea applies to the swinging of handbags and backpacks in the vicinity  of my head shoulders or back or failing to look in all directions (up/down as well as forward and back when exiting a shop to re-enter a flow on the footpath. Its like entering a flow of car traffic without checking your mirrors. Bumping the back of a wheelchair isn’t like bumping a chair leg.. I can feel it. If checking in all directions before you move seems exhausting my only solace for you is; if we all did it more we’d probably all have to do it less.

The main things I wish that “uprights” understood about footpath/sidewalk  issues are:

  • everyone is trying to get somewhere to be with those we love. I know all the stuff about vibrant footpath culture, but we need to be able to get places to enjoy the culture.
  • everyone comes in different sizes so please look down as well as behind. It can be humiliating talking to belt loops for 5 minutes.

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the disclosure page

Posted on September 6, 2010 by willowdove
Number of View: 24

Just so you know. I took down the disclosure page. I don’t think it’s necessary. I haven’t got into writing sponsored posts. I thought about it.  For practise at “writing to a topic”. None of the “opportunities” were of anything I know anything about and it made me nervous when I talked about any good experience I had, you’d all think someone was paying me. They are not. So it’s gone.

I won’t lie though. It’d be gratifying to get pocket money from this, after 5 years. I haven’t yet, and I sometimes feel like no-one is reading/enjoying though my stats tell me differently.

So just so you know I host ads from Nuffnang and Google (by the way, you are not committed to anything by clicking on an ad). I am also an Amazon Associate. Other than that nothing formal. You can “buy me a coffee” through PayPal if so inclined.

end of plug

Popularity: 3%

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Season of bookishness

Posted on September 5, 2010 by willowdove
Number of View: 26

It’s a season of books for me with a couple of reviews in the works. Book shops are my friend – soothing and friendly. Without the need to buy, although now I am. Books I haven’t been able to find in one bookshop have been there to envelop me in another.

I discovered a gift voucher from three years ago that miracle of miracles was still valid, by virtue of the sheer age of the card — they have upgraded their cards so the newer ones — more recent than one year have an expiry. How strange. With it from Borders I ordered a book I’ve heard as an audiobook but now want to hold. called The Trusted Advisor (seeing as that seems to be what I’m doing now…). The audio was good but it refers to lists and tables and maybe I’m just old-fashioned! I want to hold the book. I’ve also bought a book on running a consultancy )again seeing as that seems to be what I’m doing now.

It was a lovely bookshop, well-lit, wide enough aisles to park and not feel like a blockage, clean but cosy enough that there were more than a couple of folks very much asleep on couches which no-one minded and teenagers reading children’s picture books in discussion groups but with the mild awe of a library. Fellow book lovers and accessible. This last point re-inforced by several other folks with apparent impairments floating just as seamlessly and buying.

I’m just saying, again. If you build it ……. they will come and spend.

If you don’t build or create to disable ……. everyone will be more comfortable.

Popularity: 4%

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Tuesday tiny:Interesting take on the hung parliament

Posted on August 31, 2010 by willowdove
Number of View: 21

Michael Pascoe | What happens next in Canberra: 75 all.

Popularity: 6%

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book review: Ready for Anything: 52 Productivity Principles for Work and Life

Posted on August 27, 2010 by willowdove
Number of View: 26

My book review of David Allen’s Ready for Anything: 52 Productivity Principles for Work and Life here got me thinking about the book in more detail.

The hardest thing about the book was also its greatest asset. The fact it was an audiobook meant that it was right there with me which not only kept me moving through the book, and mindful of the principles, both good things. I am finding having a hard copy of books with me at the points that I feel like reading harder than it once was (bad for GTD itself perhaps, but there you go), so the audio allows me to use those moments when I have a gap, but when my head is too active to enjoy nothingness.

The negatives were that it was hard to get into a groove with it because in this book unlike in the audio version of the Getting Things Done book, the quotes were included in the audiobook as well as the hard copy, and the chapters are short sharp pointers; profound but not deep, and still practical enough to have you going “Now there’s a thought.” on more than one occasion

Allen claims in the introduction that after writing Getting Things Done, he started to think about the why of the approach, why the principles he was teaching seemed (at least to him it seems) universally applicable and as such started to put together principles and essays about their application. These are those essays. They are solid as an introduction, or as a review. There is depth to them which makes the format of an audiobook without chapter markers at the end of each point hard.

It is worth while as a read even if you have no direct interest in GTD. In Allen’s words;

This program will likely validate much of what you already know and do that works. But it will also challenge you to apply that awareness in a much more conscious and consistent manner and that’s where the real power lies.

In my own words it is as much about mindfulness as file folders.The spiritual angle is tangible and makes it a lot less a business book and much more a life book.. Thinking about my own choices and the impacts I have has been useful, given that really there is nothing new under the sun. As he says

If God is all and you’re part of that, just relax

This isn’t a sponsored post but my advice is if you want to buy/borrow a copy, get a hard copy.If you want to buy this it is on Amazon.

Popularity: 7%

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back to the books

Posted on August 27, 2010 by willowdove
Number of View: 35

Two days ago I went to Books Kinokuniya a mammoth book shop in the City that I discovered when I left a job and got a sizeable gift voucher. It’s great to be someone who can still discover bookshops.

I was having a mildly brain dead day, with an afternoon to kill between meetings and coffee with a friend and another commitment in the evening. I had a lot to get my head around but that wasn’t going to happen. So inspired by my friends childfree trip to the ABC, I wandered past the handbags and wandering into this huge maze of beautiful books with a huge selection in asian languages which is disconcerting if you don’t know it’s there.

Didn’t end up buying anything (2hrs browsing) but it was nice to welcome back my book worm.

Popularity: 8%

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meh

Posted on August 24, 2010 by willowdove
Number of View: 41

After every other election at whatever level I always felt quite relieved and perhaps exhilarated. Settled perhaps. Not this time.

It feels really odd. I know other countries have dealt with it, though I note that Gordon Brown had to resign to make it work for his party.

I’m sure it will be sorted but in the meantime — nothing is moving and it’s prevented a UN visitor.

I originally thought that we would end up going to the polls again quite quickly especially after one of the independents Rob Oakeshott originally floated the idea. I’m now not so sure that will happen if for no other reason than the independents won’t want to lose this power.

The longer it gets dragged out the more the apathy I fear

Popularity: 9%

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I hate to say I told you so

Posted on August 22, 2010 by willowdove
Number of View: 41

But …..

Have a look

Poor Julia

We Aussies are good( the politicians at least) at putting women in the top jobs when there is a likely loss looming

Popularity: 13%

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one take on the polls today

Posted on August 21, 2010 by willowdove
Number of View: 34

In the words of one of the commentors:

This is probably the most succinct, accurate and hilarious summary of the campaign.

The apathy I heard and saw today while waiting after completing my own vote was heartbreaking and especially sad given the apparent closeness of the expected outcome. I would normally have expected a close election to fascinate more than bore. But still there were people more interested in finding out if they’d get fined for not voting because <insert excuse here> than in exercising a democratic right only afforded once every three or so years, despite their influence on our lives.

It certainly wasn’t an awe inspiring campaign but surely the closeness should engender interest? No?

Popularity: 10%

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the cost of a vote

Posted on August 20, 2010 by willowdove
Number of View: 28

I perhaps should have warned folks not to get me started on election equity issues, but a good mate of mine added this to a comment on this post

Still distrubing to see so many polling booths inaccessable, though at least in the Marrickville LGA it’s better that it was at he last local government election.

Yes well — it might indeed be *better* but really that’s not saying much now is it? I know people from the last Federal election who had to get excused from their democratic right and responsibility to vote (it’s compulsory here in Australia) because they had assumed there would be at least one they could get into in their electorate( of say 20 polling centres), so it was too late to pre-poll or postal vote. Different electorate than the one refered to in the comment mind you.

As for me — I have to drive or be driven to cast my vote despite voting in an area where there are booths much closer than the one I will be forced to use.

How does even having to think this hard about how one is going to do what one is democratically entitled and legally required to do (quite apart from deciding who gets your vote), reflective of Australia signing the UN Convention on the Rights of People with a Disability 2 years ago.

Accessible buses are unreliable in this area on Saturday and a cab will cost me $20 from within the electorate to go vote even with my discount. How exactly is that fair? Almost less hassle to not bother voting and pay the fine that ensues. Very good for democracy. Not.

Popularity: 10%

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(the IDEAS) of Networking for a shy woman

Posted on August 20, 2010 by willowdove
Number of View: 46

People find this difficult to believe, but I’m shy. At least in some sense of the word. The way I describe it to people I am not comfortable in a crowd or with starting conversations with strangers. But I see no point in being backward about the obvious factors of my disability.

I might indeed be externally good at socializing  but it certainly doesn’t rock my boat and I find it exhausting. Networking especially in a crowded room of people with whom the connection is tenuous is really hard.

Yet there I was the other night in a room full of “uprights” (200 hundred or so of them) representing a NGO I’m on the board of;  IDEAS — Information on Disability &  Education Awareness Services. We, IDEAS are an information provider on broad base information for people with disability, their family and “supporters”. So basically anything from holiday accommodation with ramps and rails to sign language course referrals to wheelchair repair places and information on the pension; IDEAS can point you in the right direction, at least in New South Wales. For us it’s about enabling participation and choice. (It really is a great service with two other arms too.)

We are a finalist in a category of a small business awards for the local government area. No winners were announced at this event. It was a “networking opportunity” with speeches/advertising from the sponsors. It was crowded. I sat in a corner so that I didn’t knock or get knocked. But I’m proud of myself.  From my vantage point I watched people AND talked to people many of whom were I think surprised to see me and us there. I also gave the above spiel, and gave out cards. I wasn’t the first to leave either!

Mission accomplished I think.

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link love: Anger and Prayer

Posted on August 11, 2010 by willowdove
Number of View: 30

I’m suffering from a tad bit of writers block after another poof gone moment. So I thought just share some links that interested me today.

On Anger Management

Ms McNugget going a little overboard in the name of choice.

While also in America a flight attendant makes his own exit.

I love the quote that is pulled out for focus:

Those of you who have shown dignity and respect these last 20 years, thanks for a great ride

I have to say I get his point. I think we forget that those who serve us our coffee, our sermons, our plumbing are people too.

On Prayer

To counter all that anger 6 favourite prayers including the entirity of my favourite the Serenity Prayer:

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him Forever in the next.
Amen.

My most memorable “Dad” gift as a child from The Preacher was a small wall hanging of the well known first three lines of that prayer, set against a brown based tree lined vista. The wall hanging is “I don’t know where” but the prayer is with me always. I have used it often since .

Interesting that from nothing and yet committed to Blogging with Discipline out came a haphazard post!

Popularity: 15%

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Tuesday tiny: GTD week three

Posted on August 10, 2010 by willowdove
Number of View: 38

Yes. It’s still working. Well in fact. Only a day after my scheduled weekly review I got to the point (in my “clear old podcasts” project), of listening to this, and even after my thorough mind sweep it worked well again.

Popularity: 15%

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a handicap on language

Posted on August 9, 2010 by willowdove
Number of View: 70

Update 7:15 pm Since linking to the news piece it has been updated to include comments of a similar nature to mine regarding Mr Peacock’s comments from another disability organisation here in Australia

This election has been scareingly un-inspiring this time around. There doesn’t seem to be a good place for a thinker more interested in the long debate than the sound bite to be.

Then we get this from a former leader;

“You’d need to be pretty handicapped not to appreciate this Government is dissolving before your eyes daily,” he said.

Yes indeed unfortunate. However Bill Shorten who as Parliamentary Secretary responded in two ways one worked one didn’t. Yes Mr Secretary you are right it wasn’t the most appropriate choice of words. But neither sir was your response.

He doesn’t have to attack and use the intellectual disability of thousands of people and say that that is the distinguishing factor of whether or not you know what’s going on in this country or not.

We need to claim language back. The definition of handicap includes

a circumstance that makes progress or success difficult .

But more on that at a later point.

Even in the more unfortunate interpretation of the word handicapped can refer to other impairment types than those with intellectual disability even when referencing the general public’s “appreciation” of the current situation. My perception of the current state of affairs is impacted because I live with an impairment. It’s not intellectual one, but it does impact the choices I make and will make in 12 days time. Just as you picked up on the intellectual disability angle of the quote, you missed the reference to sight loss. But maybe the votes aren’t there with the vision impaired community as with the carers lobby eh?

Don’t play favourites please Mr Shorten. Some of us are noticing.

Popularity: 17%

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